Have any of you folks ever come across a candid picture of yourself, and thought: "Acccck, that's awful! Who is that sad, hunched-over creature who looks so meek and schlumpy? It can't be me, can it?

Even pretty models are apparently not immune:

It's very sad. Should we hold a fundraiser?

If you're like me, this a depressingly familiar occurrence. You cringe at the evidence; you straighten up the best you can, and try to convince yourself that this was just a temporary "slip." From now on you will hold yourself in a graceful erect position and stop that lazy slouching for all eternity!

And then ten seconds later you forget and you're slouching again.

I know bad posture can lead to back and neck problems, and I have actually tried to work on it myself. I've done stretches and upper body exercises at the gym. I've gone on campaigns of trying to remind myself to check and correct my posture more frequently. But I have such a tiny brain, this never works! The best I can do is remember for a minute or two, and then it's back to the usual slouch-fest.

So when I saw review at Workout Mommy of a wearable gizmo that promised to vibrate when I slumped and would act as "my own personal posture coach," I thought: Heck yes! Sign me up! Slap me upside the head (in a discreet, kind, loving way) whenever you catch me hunching over like Quasimodo! Lord knows I can't do it on my own.

So I got the kind folks at iPosture folks to send me one to review. I tried it... and overall, I think it's great! You can learn more about it at the iPosture website. But here's my report:

What it Is and What it Does:

The iPosture is a little disc, just over one inch in diameter. It's sort of the size of a campaign button (the tasteful kind, not the big goofy kind), although it's a bit thicker. The iPosture "automatically senses when the body slouches, and it alerts the user with brief vibrations to correct it."

You wear the gizmo somewhere in your chest area. You can use little sticky things (included), wear it as a "stylish" pendant (ha ha ha), or clip it to your bra or a form-fitting shirt.


I used the bra option. Guys: you probably don't want to use that particular method.

You then stand up (or sit up) straight, set the posture you'd like it to remember, then hit a button. If you slouch for more than 60 seconds, the iPosture vibrates. If you're stubborn or distracted and don't correct your posture, the iPosture will nag alert you again with two vibrations in another 60 seconds.

What you can't do with the iPosture:

Wear it exercising (other than walking around), bathe with it on, wear it swimming, or even sweat a whole bunch. The thingy doesn't like to get wet. Also, you can't wear it sleeping--for those of you who might otherwise be tempted to wake yourself up every sixty seconds all night long.


Things I really like about it:

1. In most situations, it seems to work really well! You forget you have it on, start to slump, and it reminds you to straighten up again.

Theoretically, after a few weeks of wearing it 4 hours a day you're supposed to start self-correcting more naturally, so you wear it less, and just use it to check that you're still not slouching and have learned your lesson.

I've only been doing it a couple days, so can't report on long-term success. But while I'm wearing it, I'm definitely spending much less time slouching.

2. Sensible instructions: they advise you not to set your "ideal" posture too strictly, and not exceed the 4 hours a day. The idea is you allow your body to gradually adjust and build up the necessary muscles. I was a bit sore after wearing it for way more than four hours (because of course I ignored their advice). My previous attempts at self-correction never worked well enough for me to actually feel sore, so this seemed like a good thing!

3. The 60-second requirement keeps the thing from going off unless you're settling in for a real slouch, not just bending over to do something. So when it does go off you're more likely to notice and pay attention.

4. Easy to use: it came with a battery already installed, and was easy to set up. And it has a "sleep" mode if you want it to leave you alone for 15 minutes while you're still wearing it.

Dire but Amusing Safety Warnings:

Watch out that you don't lose control of the springy metal clip and nail someone in the eye with it! You are also cautioned not to expose the battery to excessive heat or short-circuit it, or the whole thing could explode. (An exploding posture monitor, on the other hand, would REALLY get your attention. You'd probably never slouch again in your life--once you got out of the hospital.

But of course my favorite: "The iPosture is for external use only."


Things I Wasn't as Crazy About:

1. Sometimes it didn't seem to be quite vigilant enough. This was probably user-error. But there were times I'd realize I'd started to slouch, and felt like it had been well longer than a minute, but I hadn't gotten a vibration. Or perhaps I did but didn't notice it? This mostly happened while I was outside walking, or sitting in a soft chair or car seat. Perhaps it's less able to catch slumping in these situations. But in my normal desk chair, or standing, it seemed to work just fine.

2. Battery life: It came with two extra batteries, so this may not be a big deal. But it looks like it's designed for you to learn to correct your posture pretty fast--each battery is only supposed to last 3 weeks, even with the attenuated wearing schedule. Being pessimistic, and having had this problem my entire life, I'll be surprised if I'm "fixed" in a matter of weeks. If I'm not, I may be needing to buy some more.

3. Advertising: Just like the poor model above with her imaginary belly pooch, there are a lot of claims along the lines of "trim your waist now," or "trim love handles and belly bulges naturally," "look younger and sexier." I suspect that this approach is probably effective; I just personally found the magic weight-loss emphasis a turn-off.

But these are little quibbles. Overall, I'm psyched to have found something that will help me learn to straighten up and fly right! And while I'm glad to have scored a freebie review model (hooray!), I'd actually pay for one of these things with my own money.


How Can You Win One?

1. Have a U.S. mailing address. Sorry, I always feel bad about this.

2. Leave a comment on this post about why you might want an iPosture for yourself or for a slouchy significant other before Tuesday night, Feb 24, 6pm East Coast Time /9pm Pacific. A Random Number Generator will pick a winner, which I'll post on the main Cranky Fitness page sometime Wednesday, Feb 25. Winner must send an email with your name and mailing address to Crabby McSlacker at Gmail dot com (you know how to put the address back together, right?) by midnight Saturday Feb 28 or another Random Drawing will be held.

Sorry again, non US folks! For anyone else who's a slouch like me: good luck!

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My opinion of the Vado HD pocket video camera? Two thumbs up. I like the camera, and I've found a great way to use it to get fit.


The video camera: neat, petite, and sweet!

- This camera is cute. Lightweight and small, I really can put it in my pocket and take it with me.
- You can record in HD+, HD, or VGA.
- The controls are easy to learn and use.
- Comes with an HDMI connector as well as a USB connector, so you can play the video back on a digital television or PC.
- Replaceable battery.
- 8 MB memory (which translates to 2 hours of HD video or 8 hours of VGA).
- The main drawback is that my hands are too shaky to use the camera without a tripod or using something as a prop.

Okay, so it's cute. Why would this camera help me get fit?

The people at Creative gave me a Vado HD so that I could review it from a fitness perspective. It was suggested that using a video camera would improve performance -- you could videotape your workout and see where you need to focus, evaluate your form. I have no doubt in the hands of a fitter blogger**Crabby** the camera would have been put to exactly that use.

However, I know my form sucks -- at this stage my focus is on building up strength and endurance. In short, I'm concerned with finishing a workout. Looking at myself doing squats or lifts or whatevers would simply depress me.

I think having one of these cameras would be extremely helpful for people who are struggling to lose weight. There's a common problem out there in Weight Loss Land called 'Reverse Anorexia.' As one woman put it, "When I look at myself in the mirror with clothes on, I think I look, "a bit chubby, but OK." However when I see myself in a photo, especially next to others, I realize how bad I really do look! Motivation, indeed!!!"

It's easy to have a picture of yourself in your mind that does not correspond with what other people see. And if you think a 'fat' picture on the fridge is motivating, trust me -- it's nothing compared to videotaping yourself. Seeing myself move and talk on screen made me cringe, but it was an excellent reality check. This is what other people see, the part of me that I do not see.

Looking at myself from the outside was a wonderful way to motivate myself to keep going. Watching myself on video, I feel detached from the person I'm viewing but at the same time it's the face I see in the mirror each day. I have to be honest -- I don't like what I see. I want to change the way this body looks.

You know what I plan to do with this camera? Video tape myself, once a month. I'm going to upload each month's video to my PC and compare my progress from month to month.

Maybe I'll find the most unflattering bathing suit I possess -- it's somewhere in the back of the closet where I threw it last summer. Why wait until you're in the dressing room at the store under those unflattering fluorescent lights trying on swimsuits? Learn to see yourself honestly, accept what you've got, and if you're not happy with the reality of your situation then do one thing today, right now, to change it.

Also, I'd really recommend one of these to people who are looking for a new job or trying to find ways to 'sell' themselves in this economy. Rehearsing a job interview in the mirror feels kind of silly to me. Having a friend ask me interview questions while taping the interview, so I can get instant verbal and visual feedback on how to present myself? That would be a helluva boost.

Little quibbling irritants

- I was Not thrilled with the documentation. I realize they are mandated by Fussy Legislators to include long, pointless warranty information. I don't think it would have killed them to include a little more operational information.
- The battery must be put in printed side up, not down. (It fits in both ways.) Otherwise, you can charge the camera as much as you like, but it won't turn on.
- There's a headphone jack, but if you plug headphones in, the video goes black and you can only hear the audio alone.
- The computer that you play the video on has to have a certain processor speed, which is documented on the box (Intel Pentium 4 2.8GHz). If you run the videos on a computer with a slower processor, the audio and video will not be in sync unless you shoot the video with a lower bitrate. This isn't a problem with the video camera, more of a problem with the computer.
Note: this problem apparently also exists with the Flip Mino HD, but (according to an Amazon reviewer) the workaround is not available for the Mino.
- You need to let the Vado install some software on your computer (H.264 codec) before you can play the video on Windows Media Player, and I believe Mac users would need to install an extra piece of software to run QuickTime.

Didn't you mention something about a giveaway?What are the details?
Yes, the kind folk at Vado want us to give a Vado HD pocket camera to a Cranky Fitness reader.

Who can enter?

Anyone with an American or Canadian mailing address.

What do I do to enter?

It's simple. Leave a comment below saying why this camera would be helpful to you. Would you use it for a workout critique? As a private diary recording your struggles with binge eating? For preparing for a job interview? It's okay if you really just want the camera to record the silly things your cat/dog/spouse does. We'll understand.

If you want to leave an anonymous comment, please include your name or some other means of identification in the comment.

When will the winner be announced?

The giveaway will be closed on Monday, February 16th, at 6 p.m. Oregon time.
The winning comment will be selected by Mr. Random Number Generator and announced at Midnight.
The winner is posted on the Cranky Fitness blog.

This contest is now closed. Sorry.

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In some ways I am a child. I like my beverages really sweet.

And yes, I know it's frowned upon, but I'm one of those folks who still uses Splenda, and I have good reasons and more good reasons, but it's still embarrassing to do so if you are a health and fitness blogger.

Hi Splenda! Please don't sue us!

And I'm sorry, but I just don't like the taste of Stevia. It tastes metallic and artificial to me just like Sweet & Low, another sweetener I can't stand. And I'm also not convinced Stevia is any safer for regular long-term use than Splenda is.

Why not just use sugar in my coffee? Well, that's not great for me either and I already get plenty of it. (And, to be honest, I'm not immune from superficial vanity concerns. Swapping Splenda for sugar has made it much easier to keep my weight down.)

But recently I found two new tricks to reduce my Splenda dependence (Splendependence?) so I thought I'd share them. Just in case there is anyone else out there who excessively sweetens their beverages and wants to cut down on either sugar or Little Yellow Packets.

Trick One: Try some Erythritol.


A while back I reviewed some "satiety smoothies" that contained erythritol, which actually appears to be both natural and virtually noncaloric. I wanted to try some in my coffee. Would it taste weird like Stevia?

So I found it at a local grocery store. (Note: this may be unusual. If you don't live near hippie/foodie stores, you may have to order online). I put it in my coffee and... it tasted fine! It's only 70% as sweet as sugar, so I used many, many little packets. Which leads to a big drawback:

So far, Erythritol is really freakin' expensive! One box, which seemed to be gone in few days (OK, so I was excited and I used a lot), was like, ten bucks. (I can't remember exactly). It was a nice experiment, and I'll look for this stuff in the future... if they get the price down to more practical levels.


Trick Two: The Crabby-McSlacker Slowly Sip & Sweeten Method.

I know this is something that may seem obvious and you may have all tried it already. But I hadn't, and in my mind, I just invented it! And I'm all excited, because I cut my Splendependence in half.

1. Pour coffee or other bitter beverage. Don't add sweetener yet.

2. Take a sip of unsweetened coffee. Note the bitter flavor.

3. Add about 1/8th of the amount of sweetener you normally would and stir.

4. Sip again. Note presence of sweetener and become conscious of how Sip Two tasted Different than Sip One.

5. Add a tiny bit more sweetener.

6. Repeat, slowly and consciously, with tiny amounts of sweetener. If the trick works, you may discover that you reach acceptable levels of sweetness with quite a bit less of stuff than you usually use! You may also discover that you're late for work.

7. Do this every morning until you've reduced your consumption to less childish, embarrassing levels.

8. Notice that other food items are tasting sweeter than they did before!

So are all of you mature adults, who drink your bitter beverages unadulterated? Do you shun sodas and diet sodas? Or do you use natural sweeteners? Anyone else struggle with Splendependence like I do?

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Image courtesy of Plan 59

Welcome to the Product Review Archive Page of the health blog Cranky Fitness!

Looks kinda funny here, doesn't it? It's not really a whole separate blog, but it doesn't look quite like a normal page of Cranky Fitness either. What's up with that?

This Was The Temporary Home for Product-Review Posts:  Due to a contract we had with an advertiser, there was a time we needed a separate blog for product review posts. However, we were never very diligent about putting everything here, so if you're searching for a particular product, please do check back at Cranky Fitness too. (The search bar is a the very top in that ugly Blogger navigation bar.)

WARNING: Most reviews are written in exchange for goods we receive. We will always let you know if we got to keep the item. Or if any sponsor is foolish brave enough to actually pay us cash in advance for a review, we'll take that too! But again, we'll always let readers know.

Will Sponsors Keep Offering Us Products If We're Honest About Them? We have no idea. We notice there are a lot of supposed blog "reviews" out there that sound suspiciously one-sided. Ours will actually be honest; we're too Cranky to pretend something's great if it's lame. (Those who caught Merry's Skinny Bitch workout video know this to be true).


Important Information for Potential Review Sponsors

Scared off yet? Actually, the fact that we're going to be honest in our reviews will work to your advantage if you've got a great product. We have spent years cultivating a reputation as being cranky, picky, whiny, and easily frustrated. If you make us happy: instant credibility!

Good news! Posts will, as of Fall 2011, appear back on the main blog. Google favors Cranky Fitness with a surprisingly nice page rank for a half-assed health blog.  Review posts, if they appear here, will just link back to coverage on the main blog.

 Sorry, we will not respond to all review requests; only products that are interesting to us.

We are willing to review a wide range of products that are arguably related to fitness--exercise, electronics, cooking, workout apparel, etc. However, we get lots of requests for items that sound too weird, specialized, tacky, or that would only cost us a few dollars to purchase if we were actually interested in them. Realistically, we are not going to pay the same attention to a request to review a fancy bottle of water as we would a new pair of high-tech running shoes.  In general we favor review/giveaway product opportunities worth at least $100.  And that's a crapload of bottled water.

Cranky Fitness also takes text and banner advertising, either single-page or site wide.  Email for more info!

Thanks for reading this post, and congratulations if you made it all the way down here!

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Photo credit

Some folks are adventurous optimists. They assume that all new experiences will be fun. Ask one of these folks: "Hey, optimist, wanna go Naked Ice Fishing in the Antarctic?" Chances are they'll say "Sure, count me in!" And even if they go naked ice fishing, catch nothing but a bad cold and even lose a few extremities to frostbite in the process, you can still ask them next time: "Hey optimist, want to go sunbathing in the Sahara?" And their answer will be: "Sure, count me in!"

And then there are their opposites. I am one of these creatures. You can call us "party poopers," or just say we're "cautious." We are picky about how we spend our time. We assume that most new things outside of the tried-and-true will NOT be fun. Our default answer to most new activities is "no thanks!"

Before you say "how terrible! That's so limiting!" keep in mind that our ability to say "no thanks" is often hard-won. Most of us crankypants cautious types have been talked into outings and parties and performances for decades and we've been assured we will LOVE them. And then we go, only find ourselves bored, anxious, disappointed, or annoyed. We've learned to trust our own instincts and ignore the enthusiastic promises of the adventurous optimists. Don't get me wrong: we Party Poopers still have plenty of fun; we're just way more selective about how we have it.

All this is to say that while in San Diego, Crabby McSlacker, queen of the Crankypants Party Poopers, got talked into a "Sound Energy Healing" session involving the playing of Tibetan singing bowls (and bells and gongs and other exotic objects).

How did this happen? Well, it was one of those situations where despite some skepticism I couldn't really decline unless I wanted to be a total... what's the female equivalent of a prick, anyway? So the Cautious Crab went off with the Lobster to a sound healing session, generously offered by a friend's mother who happens to be a certified Tibetan bowl practitioner (and a very cool person).


So what does a Tibetan Singing Bowl Sound Healing session entail, and does research say it's effective or is it just a whole lot of hooey?

The Science of Sound

Actually, there does seem to research backing the notion that various kinds of sound, music and rhythms can have healing powers. According to oncologist, Mitchell Gaynor, "We know that music is capable of enhancing immune function, lowering heart rate, lowering stress-related hormones like cortisol that raise our blood pressure and depress our immune systems." Other research suggests that music "trims complications after heart attack, calms anxiety, slows breathing and increases production of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers."

Gaynor is a big proponent of using Tibetan bowls to help cancer patients, but says that there is more going on than just the effects of relaxation. He implies that there is something special about these bowls that taps into spiritual energy that can help cancer patients heal.

Furthermore, in a sound healing article in the New York Times, one practitioner explained: "When the body is sick - it could be a cold, a broken bone, an ulcer, a tumor, or an emotional or mental illness - it's all a matter of the frequencies of the body being out of tune, off balance, out of synch. Vibration can help bring that back into balance."

Er... maybe. I'm frankly skeptical about the whole vibrational balance explanation. I think that there is so much evidence about the beneficial effects of stress reduction, meditation, and even placebo power that we don't even need to go there. But hey, if people believe that the sound vibrations are going into their bodies and messing with their cells in positive ways and resetting their frequencies or whatever, I think that's a good thing, whether it's true or not!


What is a Tibetan Bowl Sound Session Like?

It's pretty cool.

We went into a room that had dozens of Tibetan bowls of all sizes as well as some bells and who knows what else. (If I were a proper reporter instead of a lazy blogger, I probably would have thought to ask what all the stuff was). Tibetan bowls can be struck or rubbed, and they have a very rich sound with lots of overtones. Apparently they are tuned to the frequency of "aum." In more technical terms, they sound pretty.

As instructed, we removed our shoes, lay down on a comfortable mat, were covered by a blanket, and were given nice little eye pillow thingies. This triggered pleasant massage associations and was a nice surprise.

Then I start to forget the order of things. Did our host make the trance-inducing suggestions about letting go and ripples and ponds and hearts blossoming open and such before she put the bowls on our chests and bellies? Or did the cool bell tones and chimes start first and then the suggestions and then the belly bowls?

Anyway, I do at least remember that the sounds the bowls made being struck and rubbed all around us (and on us) were VERY soothing. The tones were rich and warm and layered and luxurious. Because I could feel the vibrations, the sounds seemed to worm their way into deeper places in my head and body than regular music normally goes.

By the end, I was so relaxed I could barely speak.

I didn't go in with any specific medical issues to deal with, so I can't attest to the pain-relieving, disease-fighting properties of Tibetan bowls, but I can say that they are pretty wonderful things to be around. As someone who sucks at meditation, I am always looking for ways to turn down the mental chitter chatter a few notches. (Which is not to say that the yapping in my brain went away entirely, but at least it was contented, meandering, quieter yapping).

Anyway, the Crankypants Crab will continue to defend to her dying day the practice of saying "no thanks!" to new experiences. But, um... sometimes new experiences actually turn out to be awesome. (Thanks Diáne!)


(For more information on Tibetan bowls, Tibetan bowl music cd's, or attending sound healing concerts or presentations, check out Diáne Mandle's Sound Energy Healing site.)

Anyone else try something new that you didn't think you'd like? Were you right or were you wrong?

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Another review? Merry, what were you thinking?
I was thinking that I needed to balance out the last review with a positive one.
(Can I mention here that the vast majority of PR people are all kind, professional, polite, and nice to work with?)
I reviewed the Core Rhythms Starter Pack, a 4-DVD set featuring Jaana Kunitz and Julia Powers. There's a Kick Start DVD, a Quick Workout, a Full Workout, and a DVD called "Latin Dance Made Easy."

Have to confess, the title of that last one made me nervous. I liked the instructors, Jaana and Julia, but they were definitely slim and flexible, like lithe greyhounds.

Me, I resemble a different kind of greyhound.

Also, I had thought that salsa was something you ate with chips while you were waiting for your enchilada. Not the hippest chica on the block, in other words. I wasn't sure how they could turn me into a hot Latin dancer, but I was curious to see whether I liked the DVDs.


They passed the first test. My new criterion for whether I like a DVD or not is how much talking takes place before they start the warm up. In this case, I estimate it to have been about 12 seconds. Very impressive. Also impressive was the enthusiasm both women displayed. I got the impression they really thought these exercises were fun. They took the time to explain the movements, using the backup dancers as demonstrators. Most of the moves are similar to those in belly dancing, lots of emphasis on using all the core muscles around your waist, but the Latin dance rhythm gives the workout a different tone.

Below is the quick summary. If you click on the Read More, you'll see the full review and details about the giveaway, which incidentally is open to Canadians.

Summary
Good: The workouts were fast enough to get me sweating, but not so fast that I felt I couldn't keep up.
Better: The Latin beat made me want to get moving
Ugly: In most of the DVDs, there was a huge close-up of a dancing torso in the background; it was both distracting and surreal. (See the picture at the top of the page to get an idea of what it's like.)


Also, it was also really cool that these DVD workouts were bi-sexual.

Um, no, not like that.

What I meant was that while most workout DVDs are exclusively women-centric, these workouts had male and female backup dancers. In the Latin Dance DVD, Julia taught the woman's dance moves and her husband demonstrated the man's dance moves.

Likes:
The workout DVDs all have front and back views, so you can watch the instructors from different sides to follow along easily.
The Help section of the Full workout was really cool. If you are following the workout and can't remember how to do a particular movement, clicking Help pauses the action and shows a video clip demonstrating the movement. I approve of this.
The Quick Workout DVD is good for days when you don't have time for the whole enchilada. A 20-minute workout can still work up a sweat, and this one qualifies.
I loved how the Kick Start DVD had a 'split screen' option so you could see a close-up of the torso one one side of the screen while following the instructor on the other. (This DVD did not have the huge surreal dancing torso in the background.)

The Kick Start is designed to show you the basic moves, while the Quick Workout and Full Workout use the moves to make you sweat. The Latin Dance DVD doesn't give you an aerobic workout; it's a dance video designed to train you in basic Latin dance moves. Which it turns out you've been learning all along unbeknownst.

It was fascinating to try the Latin Dance DVD after going through all the core rhythm workout DVDs. I could see each move as it had been shown earlier: the Salsa, the Rumba, and the Merengue. [Note: Some of the other DVDs demonstrate the Samba but the Latin Dance DVD shows the Rumba. Most of the moves in the Rumba are familiar from the workouts.]

While I was sweating off the calories, I was also learning Latin dance moves! Who knew? (Um... probably people who'd read the fine print on the box, but I'm not that kind of girl.) It's difficult for me to think of myself as having "slinky hips" but so long as the drapes were shut tight, what the hell.

Dislikes:
I noted some complaints while I was doing the workout.
- The full workout, I complained at the beginnning that it felt like I was marching in place half the time. However, by the end of the workout I'd scratched this note out. I think the marching was phased out in favor of Latin moves about halfway in to the routine. I do remember stopping and feeling the muscles in my core section. It seemed easy while I was doing it, but the workout did have an effect.
- With the Quick workout, I have a note complaining that the exercises were absurdly easy. Again, by the end of the workout I wasn't complaining. My muscles were.
- Yes, the two instructors talked throughout, but at least it was about the workout. They were good at cueing you for the next move.
- Really, the only complaint I have about these DVDs is that dancing torso in the background. And since I can ignore it to concentrate on the instructors, this isn't a huge drawback.

Core Rhythm DVD Giveaway -- U.S. and Canada!

The people at Core Rhythms are so cool that they'll even ship a copy of the Core Rhythms to Canadians (as well as to USians). Clearly, they're worried about how cold it is in the Frozen North and want to send hot Latin rhythms to keep you from getting frostbite.

To win this DVD set, please leave a comment about how you see yourself: Hot Latin dancer? Or the other kind of Greyhound?

The giveaway ends on Thursday, January 29th at Midnight, Rio de Janerio time. Which by an odd coincidence is 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. ('Cause I ain't staying up 'til Midnight my time to meet up with Mr. Random Number Generator, that's why.)

Note to Anonymous: Hmmmn... either Anonymous has entered several comments, or different people have left comments anonymously. If you would like to leave an anonymous comment, but want to be entered in the giveaway contest, could you please leave a name (thanks Sara and Messymimi!) or other means of identification in the comment? A code word, a recognition symbol, e.g. "I'm the anonymous commenter who will be standing by the clock in Grand Central Station at 11 pm next Tuesday, wearing a red carnation." Something like that would be very helpful. Thank you.

This contest is now closed. Sorry.

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A note to PR people:
Below are my official product review guidelines. They have not been reviewed by my esteemed co-blogger, as Ms. Crabby McSlacker is currently in re-crab, trying out for American Idol, in seclusion working on her next post driving hundreds of miles to eat at her favorite restaurant.

Yes, I will be glad to review products, under the following conditions:

1 - I like the product, or at least think it will make an interesting post.
2 - You understand that I will write about the positive and the negative aspects of the product.
3 - You tell me up front, before I agree to the review, if there are any urgent deadlines for a product review. Otherwise, my aim is to review the product within 3 weeks of receiving it.

Please keep condition #3 in mind.

In particular, avoid the following scenario:

Do not send me a DVD on a Friday afternoon, then on Monday morning send me an email saying you need me to review it within the week.
If I demur, do not send me an irate email claiming you sent the DVD "a long time ago."
Also, do not then try to nice-guilt me into doing the review asap when I've already explained to you that that would mean breaking my word to other PR people, i.e. people to whom I've already given a commitment.

Okay, are we clear? Good.


With that in mind, I would like to mention that my review of the Skinny Bitch Boot Camp DVD might have a wee bit of a negative bias...

...because right now I'm kind of pissed off.

At the start, all I knew about the Skinny Bitches was a guest post written by the fabulous Jamie back in April. So aside from my encounter with a certain PR person, I put the DVD into the player without knowing what to expect.

I hit Play All and waited. Looking back, that was where I made my mistake.

The DVD started out with a brief talk by the Skinny Bitches. I'm not sure what it was about, because I zoned out after the first 30 seconds, but I think it was supposed to be meaningful and uplifting.

Then after a brief pause there came another uplifting and meaningful talk. Again, I zoned out. It wasn't a repeat of the first talk, because they were wearing different outfits.

Then came the warm up, and damn me if they didn't start that out with more of the uplifting and meaningful crap. The mouths get quite the workout in this DVD.

The Skinny Bitches (Mouth) Warmup:

They did glib little exercises. And they never stopped talking.
Then they did superficial little stretches. And they never shut up.

Most exercise DVDs have an instructor who stands up front and talks a lot, but usually they give the impression they actually mean what they're saying. Listening to compliments about the Skinny Bitches' cute butts got old very quickly. Likewise, comments like "Whew! I'm sweatin'!" one minute into the warm up came across as completely insincere. I found myself wishing they would depart from the "you go girl!" persona and delve into a deeply convoluted dissertation on Wittgenstein's views on neo-Nazi cross-dressing. Something, anything different from this meaningless patter.

Honestly, it was like being at the gym and having a neighbor who's constantly on their cell phone yapping with their friends about absolutely nothing. (You can't turn off the yapping and just listen to the music. I tried.)

A brief interval wherein I praise snarky bitchery

You'd think with a name like 'Skinny Bitches' there would have been some attitude, but it was all platitude -- with a few repetitions of 'bitch' and 'ass' thrown in to show that they were hip and cool. Every would-be sharp comment came out pat and rehearsed, like they were reading it off the script prompter.

I mean, I admire snarky bitchery when it's done right. The Smart Bitches, Trashy Books website is the epitome of snarky b. (These women review romance novels. Here's a link to one classic example.) They can be mean, but they can also be edgy and unexpected and funny.

The two Skinny Bitches... well, no.

The Skinny Bitches Boot Camp (no sweat) workout:

Doesn't the phrase 'boot camp' suggest a workout that's supposed to be challenging? Make your heart beat faster, make you feel like you're asking your body to work a bit harder?

I'm certainly not the fittest bunny on the block, not even close. And yet I had no difficulty keeping up with these chicas. At the beginning, they solemnly warned the viewer that if the routines were too difficult, just keep moving. Do what you can. Then they provide the most lukewarm example of a workout I've yet to come across.

This wouldn't have been so irritating if the workout hadn't been hyped "A Fat-Blasting, Body-Altering, Butt-Kicking Workout!" I had expected to be sweating at the end of the workout, but I wasn't.

The Abs section of the workout was missing from the DVD I was given to review. (The SBs announced "Now we're doing Abs!" Then 2/3 of the screen went magenta. When it cleared, the title read "Cool Down.")

If you want to see what the Abs workout looks like, here's a sample. Mercifully, they don't talk so much in this clip:

Skinny Bitch: Boot Camp- Abs on Mats - The most popular videos are a click away

Extras

At the end of the DVD, the SBs included some 5-minute workouts. Five minutes isn't long enough to get much of a workout, but to be fair I tried the 5-minute arms workout. It felt very lightweight, and damn me if they didn't recycle the same @#$! jokes that they'd used in the boot camp section. These were really irritating to listen to the first time, the second time around was beyond irritating. I can't imagine listening to this DVD several times a week. Not without some extra-strong Prozac.

There were a couple of interviews on the DVD as well, but after sitting through all the introductions, I didn't think I could take any more.

Summary

On the positive side, this workout is not difficult to pick up. It's a little irritating when they change exercises while the camera is showing an above-the-waist closeup, which happened two or three times, but aside from that it is quite easy to do. And I did like the fact that they threw in some balance work. I can't find any other reasons to recommend this DVD.

I can respect that they want to make this workout something pretty much everyone can do, but they should have hyped this DVD as something other than a "butt-kicking" workout. [Note: I found a couple of other reviewers who agreed that this workout was too easy. On the other hand, this review of the same DVD claims that it's too hard for an absolute beginner.]

I was also sent a second Skinny Bitches DVD to review, but since this review was a rush/screaming emergency I don't feel guilty about putting the second review off for another day.

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